Farmer Jokes

[j-bird]

Foggy that list is awesome. It isn't just you guys - I can check about 90% of that list myself.

 

[fuldraw]

Hahaha! I would bet money that who ever that DOB is, he has gotten some calls! Its Missouri, some of the Horniest Broads in America live there and that is a fact!;)

We are called the "Show Me State"

 

[Bill]

Not a farmer joke but there is a farm in it.

You guys seen this yet?

It's a real product and I'm getting some for deer season at the farm.

 

[tooln]

Foggy you hit the nail on the head. Been there done that for every item.

 

[tooln]

Not a farmer joke but there is a farm in it.

You guys seen this yet?

It's a real product and I'm getting some for deer season at the farm.

I've seen it all now.

 

[Bill]

Wtf?

Right!

I thought it was a spoof at first. It's not.

 

[j-bird]

Thought some of you would find this funny.


When my wife asked if I would be interested in a threesome - I told her I was. She said she would set it up. I felt really awkward when HE entered the room!!!!

 

[j-bird]

View attachment 3217
First thing I thought of when I saw this was Foggy's permitting for his swamp crossing!!!! Had to post it!

 

[JackTerp]

A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'
The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ......
I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants.... So I did.

Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town, cowboy.. '
'And here I am.'

Son of a Gun. Blonde Men do exist!!!!

 

[SD51555]

Has anyone ever read the Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bear reviews on Amazon? The first time I read this, I was in tears for about ten minutes I was laughing so hard. Just follow this link and read the reviews. There is no need to sort.

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-...sr=8-2&keywords=haribo+sugar+free+gummi+bears

 

[Riggsgwp->]

Holy shiit! Literally Funniest thing I've ever read.

 

[j-bird]

Sugar free gummy bears - sounds like a great gift. Oh the fun some sick-o like me could have some fun with. I'm thinking a nice candy dish on my desk at work!!!!

 

[wiscwhip]

Sugar free gummy bears - sounds like a great gift. Oh the fun some sick-o like me could have some fun with. I'm thinking a nice candy dish on my desk at work!!!!

Now that would be funny right there!

 

[tooln]

Has anyone ever read the Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bear reviews on Amazon? The first time I read this, I was in tears for about ten minutes I was laughing so hard. Just follow this link and read the reviews. There is no need to sort.

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears/dp/B008JELLCA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1418437491&sr=8-2&keywords=haribo sugar free gummi bears

Holy $hit.

 

[West Branch]

If anyone is interested in wasting their weekend reading some amazon reviews here are some other good products:

Three wolf moon t shirt:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008B5ISVO..._t=1401&pf_rd_p=1608755502&pf_rd_i=1001250201

Banana slicer:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0047E0EII..._t=1401&pf_rd_p=1608755502&pf_rd_i=1001250201

Example:

I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.

How to avoid huge ships:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0870334336..._t=1401&pf_rd_p=1608755502&pf_rd_i=1001250201

1 gallon of whole milk:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00032G1S0..._t=1401&pf_rd_p=1608755502&pf_rd_i=1001250201

Uranium Ore:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000796XXM..._t=1401&pf_rd_p=1608755502&pf_rd_i=1001250201

Fresh whole rabbit:
http://www.amazon.com/Cloverdale-Fresh-Whole-Rabbit/dp/B00012182G

 

[West Branch]

Anyone looking for taxidermy?

 

[foggy]

^ Wow. Just a few seasons without deer....and already the natives are getting screwy. ;)

 

[fuldraw]

 

[JackTerp]

There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist.
Every day, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her.
He thought to himself, "She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?"

Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying "Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don't you know there is no God?" But she kept on praying.

One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. As usual, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself, "Humph! I'll fix her."

He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shouting everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, "You ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!" At hearing this, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord.

When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was. She said, "I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn't know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!"

 

[JackTerp]

A neighbor notices that the blonde living across her house was crying, so,
she goes over and asked her what had happened?
and the blonde said that her mother had passed away.
The neighbor made her some coffee and settled her down a little and then left.
The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.
She asked her why she was crying again.
The blonde replied said,

"I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too