motivating fruit trees...

j-bird

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I am sure I am not the only one here who has exchanged a few nasty words in trying to motivate fruit trees to produce! I will say that I must have really motivated a group of mine at some point. I know these in particular I have cursed, spit on, and yes even threatened with a chainsaw! YOU SOB's better grow an F'n apple or else your firewood! The one in the pic I even motivated to bending down so the deer could access the apples right off the tree! I did have one that never produced a apple before and it even produced a couple! It's the under performer of the group...but I'll take the improvement... but it better continue to show improvement...or chop,chop! Obviously all of this is in fun. This is what happens when you buy trees at big box stores and don't really know what you are getting. These trees are probably 5 to 10 years old and had struggled to produce much in the way of fruit up until this year. Don't ask me what varieties they are or what rootstock they are on...I was not smart enough to follow good advice way back when they was planted....
 

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Does it flower?
 
Does it flower?
It does... it is a big box store tree and lord knows what root stock it has. I just found it funny how I have cursed these trees and threatened to cut them down and replace them with know varieties....and all of the sudden 2 of the three who struggled seemingly got their act together and the third tree that has never produced even has 3 or 4 on it now.

So if you have a tree that is struggling to produce....for a small fee....I will come out and give your tree a "motivation speech".....AKA I'll chew it's butt I'll be the Mike Ditka of Apple trees!
 
Are they close enough to pollinate each other?
also, if two are the same variety, they might not pollinate each other.
or maybe the low producer is a trI-ploid, so it needs 2 pollinators and won’t pollinate others.
I know you said you don’t know what they are.
but maybe grafting a crab pollinator branch on to each would help.
 
Interesting timing of your post. I have a 11yr old honey crisp from a big box store on unknown rootstock that I’m very close to cutting down and starting over. It’s a small sick looking tree. To make matters worse, it’s in a great location. I have a big decision to make this off-season! I wonder what late season apple I should replace it with?
 
Become a beekeeper

bill
 
Interesting timing of your post. I have a 11yr old honey crisp from a big box store on unknown rootstock that I’m very close to cutting down and starting over. It’s a small sick looking tree. To make matters worse, it’s in a great location. I have a big decision to make this off-season! I wonder what late season apple I should replace it with?

Look or wait for a rootsucker before you cut it down. Then you can graft to the rootsucker.


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I've not tried it yet but was told apple knocking really works. Look it up. Got my rubber hammer ready.
 
Interesting timing of your post. I have a 11yr old honey crisp from a big box store on unknown rootstock that I’m very close to cutting down and starting over. It’s a small sick looking tree. To make matters worse, it’s in a great location. I have a big decision to make this off-season! I wonder what late season apple I should replace it with?
Don’t cut it down. I am not very good at grafting but my best success comes with grafting at the 4-5‘ range. They are the easiest grafts for a beginner. At least give it a shot before you cut it all the way down.
 
Are they close enough to pollinate each other?
also, if two are the same variety, they might not pollinate each other.
or maybe the low producer is a trI-ploid, so it needs 2 pollinators and won’t pollinate others.
I know you said you don’t know what they are.
but maybe grafting a crab pollinator branch on to each would help.
Yes, this is in what some would call an orchard. I don't use the term because "orchard" tends to bring to mind a plan and organization....which my tree collection lacks. Other trees (much younger and smaller in my "collection" are crabs and other apple varieties as well. I hope it's just a slow learner and will improve over the next few years.
 
Interesting timing of your post. I have a 11yr old honey crisp from a big box store on unknown rootstock that I’m very close to cutting down and starting over. It’s a small sick looking tree. To make matters worse, it’s in a great location. I have a big decision to make this off-season! I wonder what late season apple I should replace it with?
My "trouble maker" is a large tree and otherwise seems healthy. It's trunk is the size of my leg.... so it's not that it isn't big enough....that is what is frustrating. If it was small and sickly.....it would have been gone a long time ago.
 
Become a beekeeper

bill
I don't need another hobby! I have offered to host a hive before and have had no takers thus far.
 
I've not tried it yet but was told apple knocking really works. Look it up. Got my rubber hammer ready.
I felt like an idiot yelling at the tree as it is....now you want me to go out and hit it? If the neighbors didn't think I was crazy before....this may get me a jacket with long sleeves that tie in the back!
 
I got one just like yours j-bird.... a big box bust. I just can't bring myself to replace it after 5 or 6 years, so I am resigned to loving like a wayward child, but never again. I feel your pain!
 
It does... it is a big box store tree and lord knows what root stock it has. I just found it funny how I have cursed these trees and threatened to cut them down and replace them with know varieties....and all of the sudden 2 of the three who struggled seemingly got their act together and the third tree that has never produced even has 3 or 4 on it now.

So if you have a tree that is struggling to produce....for a small fee....I will come out and give your tree a "motivation speech".....AKA I'll chew it's butt I'll be the Mike Ditka of Apple trees!

AS mentioned above, could be lack of cross pollinators which need a similair bloom time as your tree. Could be lack of sunlight?
 
AS mentioned above, could be lack of cross pollinators which need a similair bloom time as your tree. Could be lack of sunlight?
sunlight is fine these trees are out in the wide open.....even sits up towards the top of the rise so it's not down in a frost pocket either. Plenty of air circulation. I AM THINKING IT'S JUST A SHITTY TREE! I have room yet to expand so it is safe for now....but in a year or two if this keeps up....it's getting a significant hair cut and maybe become a franken-tree!
 
I had a similar Honeycrisp. You notice I said HAD.


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To motivate my trees, I sing Creedence Clearwater Revival songs to them while dancing in my buffalo briefs, and they never disappoint me......

Which song? ;)


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I keep imagining The Big Lebowski
 
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