Had to say goodbye to my first 1 year ago. One of the hardest things I’ve gone through in awhile. completely understand where you’re coming from. I still have one more, she’ll be 11 in March… dreading the day when I lose her too. I 100% get the desire to not want to get another one. The feeling of replacement… but my two dogs couldn’t have be on more opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to personality even though they were the same breed and even somewhat related. It taught me that no two are ever alike. You won’t ever replace him. You’ll just have a new friend that will be different in their own way but still at times remind you of Blue. That’s something that would be pretty cool to experience.
Grief is like a giant ball in a box that has a hurt button. When it first gets put in there the ball hits the button everytime it moves around. As days go by the ball gets smaller and doesn’t hit that button as much. But it still will from time to time. It’ll never go away there will be a time when it doesn’t hurt so much.
I had Blue, and Emma, both were British Labs, Blue was 2 years older then Emma. They werent perfect pheasant hunting dogs, but together they were the best team for hunting. Blue would drive push, and corner through anything all day long, he loved to hunt, but he didnt have the best nose to find a downed bird. Emma, would drive for about 20 minutes, then start following my tracks to make it easier on her, but if we shot, she would find that bird if there was any scent of a dead bird anywhere. They really complimented each other when hunting. Later found Emma having had torn both her ACL's, we had repaired the first one, the second one we decided to just retire her for hunting, or take it really easy when she went.
I have to admit, I am still taking it pretty hard, and I knew I would when the day came. I have so many things in my daily life that reminds me of him, that I have not gotten rid of, moved, or boxed up for storage. His food bowl is still out, is collar, his dog bed, I had changed all of my social media pictures to him, at least any that is active. I know I could get rid of the stuff, box it up, change all the pictures, and it would help me not think about him all the time, but I dont want that either. I assume some day I will be ready to box the stuff up, but that day isnt yet. My wife hasnt brought it up to pack his stuff up yet, so she probably isnt ready yet either. Emma is showing signs of wondering where Blue is, when I feed her, she loos back at Blues bowl, and waits for him, and I have to tell her to eat. Yesterday after I fed her, and she came back in the house, she walked over to his food bowl, and stood infront of it for a few minutes, then laid by it. When we go to bed at night, they each had their own dog bedo in our bedroom, well they still do, and she will stop and look at his bed, and I have to tell her to go to bed. Never has she done any of that before. Emma does seem to be less active now, but I think she likes the sole attention, that she had to share before. Emma was always jealous.
I hate to say it, I have lost several family members in my life, and I think this is hitting me harder them any of them.
I really appreciate all your stories, and thoughts, it does help. This is a topic I avoided so I didnt have to think about it much.
