What really happened last spring to 'the other site' and a personal favor to ask

[Jim Timber]

Happy to see you on here again since the other day Jim.

Most people, at some point, deal with stress, anxiety and/or depression. Some can be minor - some major. Causes can be organic ( brain chemical for example ), or external such as loss of a loved one, marital infidelity, war trauma, etc. You're definitely NOT ALONE !! Our society paints men to be like Clint Eastwood - tough in the face of ANYTHING, cold, emotionless, gritty. Suck it up & keep going, keep driving mentality. Project strength no matter what.

That's not reality. We're human - not machines. Most guys will never admit when some situation caused us hurt & pain. That would make us a wimp - a wuss. Right ?? Sticking to that tough guy "mask" is CRAP. Any doctor worth his salt will tell you stress, anxiety, depression all produce REAL physical effects on the human body. Strokes, heart/cardiovascular disease, digestion problems are just a few.

Some years back, I was dealing with a "black hole" myself. After my father passed ( which alone was a tremendous loss ), family problems, high pressure jobs, plus stress & anxiety over our oldest son rebelling against just about everything - I felt like I was in a vice. Every attempt by me at resolving any of these issues went nowhere. This stress period went on for some years - it wasn't a couple months. The more I tried to "suck it up" - the more I felt sucked down. I was snapping at people I love, which counselors told me was a result of feeling trapped in a situation that seemed to have no way out.

My regular doctor noticed how tight I was wound and said it was having physical effects on me. I told him I felt like I was in the swirl when you flush the toilet. He suggested some counseling and did some blood tests to see what was up. Blood work showed low levels of a brain chemical ( the name's 4 blocks long ! ), so he prescribed a medication to re-balance it. That and counseling turned the tide and I felt like a new person. BUT IT TOOK THE DOCTOR TO POINT OUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME. I had "toughed it out" to the point of physical ruin.

It takes REAL strength to ask for help. Not the movies kind of Clint Eastwood, John Wayne tough. Real strength is knowing yourself well enough to say "I need a hand with this" - just like we would if we were lifting a heavy log.

The fact that you posted your situation and shared it with us proves you're stronger than you may give yourself credit for. Hang in there, Jim. Better days ahead !!

I'm on Cymbalta, which is a dual-use drug that has benefits for arthritis and mood. I joke it's my "happy pills". How well it actually works for my arthritis is debatable, but aside from being more of a blabbermouth (stated known side effect), it seems to be working pretty good at keeping me from being morose.

With respect to all that I've been through, all that's broken on me, what I've achieved, and what I haven't; I've got a pretty kick-ass life. Last year, I felt guilty about not appreciating it, because I knew in my head how lucky I was but I still wasn't happy. There's hundreds of guys in the VA med center who'd kill their first born to have my problems, and here I wasn't content and I couldn't understand why. It's taken me several months to finally take to heart how good things really are. Sure, my body hurts all the time, my hands crap out on me if I try doing too much, I need special injections semi-annually to be able to walk without narcotics; but I have a lot to be thankful for and I am still blessed. If God's playing Job with the devil with me, Satan can lick my sweaty balls! I have not, and never will curse God for what he's allowed me to endure. I'd just like a little heads up on why I've been through all this, because it still doesn't make any sense to me. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know what my purpose is supposed to be. But I'm not going to check-out just because I can't see beyond my nose. I've made it this far without knowing when to quit, why give up now?

 

[H20fwler]

Vinnie's a Blackmouth Cur, which is a breed of scent hound despite his terrier shaped head.

First time I ever took him for a walk in our woods, he pulled me 60-70 yards off the trail straight to a fresh bear poop, pointed to it, looked up at me waiting for acknowledgement, then as I was reaching into my pocket for the cell phone to take a "proud pappa" pic he dropped his front shoulder and smeared half his face in it. My joy instantly turned to Sonofa-! Now I gotta wash that $h!+ off his face...

I've learned that once he's found something nasty, you need to tell him "no" and then he'll mind me and not try to eat it or wear it.

Somebody in Florida lost a damn good dog!

How can you not love this guy?? (he's out cold)
View attachment 18945

I got a new pup last fall and she is the same way, deer poop-dead coon-dead frogs she must think it all smells like Chanel No. 5...and just flops right in!
Nothing in the world like a good dog, glad you found a partner.

From one Vet to another....hang in there brother!

 

[Bowsnbucks]

Jim - Don't we all have a lot to be thankful for ?? !! And most of us are probably not thankful enough for what we have. Guilty here. It gets real focused to me when I see a young kid with cancer, a vet with war trauma, a family dealing with a loved one killed in a DUI accident, or someone with MS or ALS unable to fend for themselves. Those things make my aching back & other gripes seem small.

Biblically - Job wasn't "happy" about all his woes, but he hung in there and kept trudging along the path laid out before him. I think we all have to do the same. We won't know our whole story until God calls us to the other side.

Keep us posted on Vinnie's exploits and hang in there.

 

[wklman]

The only question I have in all this is why can't the dog live with only one eye? There's millions of blind and one eyed dogs living fine with out getting surgery done.

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[Jim Timber]

The only question I have in all this is why can't the dog live with only one eye? There's millions of blind and one eyed dogs living fine with out getting surgery done.

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He could.

There's a possibility he'd end up with chronic headaches, he could lose the eye entirely requiring removal, or should luck have it he could live to the end of his expected lifetime without further complications. I don't want to risk him suffering further by delaying the repair. I also want to give the gift of full vision back to him as a "thanks" for what he's done for me.

I can't swing adding 3K of debt right now. If you'd like to help me help him; bless you! If not, I'm ok with that too. Some people like helping others, and apparently some think that I'm just mooching money I shouldn't "need". I paid for Vinnie on a credit card, so some of you would probably say I shouldn't have him either.

 

[Natty Bumppo]

Great looking dog. Glad you found each other. Be well Jim.

 

[Jim Timber]

Vinnie's optic nerve is toast. :(

 

[Bill]

Sorry to hear that. Bet he's just as happy go lucky anyway.

 

[Reagan]

Could you elaborate? Did they do surgery and damage the nerve?


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[Jim Timber]

I didn't know dogs pupils are linked and don't respond independently like humans. The vet opthamologist agreed with my determination that his right eye sufferred severe trauma causing the cataract, but didn't have any hope that surgery removing it would do any good. We can do more testing for another $350, but he didn't think Vinnie would pass them based on his total failure to respond to any of the light-response tests.

He doesn't have glaucoma (yet), so that's a plus. We will need to keep monitoring his eye pressure as he gets older @$140 a visit.

He's had a rough ride in life, which probably explains why he's so happy with us now.