I don't wait. My native field grown persimmons can easily take 10 years to produce. When I find a persimmon that hits about 1" in diameter I graft it to female. Keep in mind my strategy. I'm trying to use persimmons as part of a permaculture for feeding deer across a broad time frame. So, if I can cut down a 1" tree and see my first persimmons in the third leaf (with known drop times as well), I get more persimmons sooner and dropping when I want them. If I have a native tree that is bearing good fruit, I'll keep it, otherwise I graft. Tree diameter is a factor. I've had success with trees up to about 5" in diameter, but they are a lot of work. You create a pretty large wound on a tree that big and the root system really wants to recover. You get a lot of water sprouts below the graft for several years than need to be removed and it also stimulates root suckers. With smaller trees, I graft 1 or 2 scions and down select to 1 when it goes dormant the first year. With a large diameter tree, I'll graft 4 or 5 scions and down select to 3 the first winter and down select to 1 the second winter. Trees in the 1" to 3" class are no problem. I've grafted smaller trees, but my success rate is lower and not worth my time. This gives the root system energy some place to go besides suckers and water sprouts. If my objective were attraction to a specific location at a specific time, my approach may be different.
Thanks,
Jack