Battle with the wife for moving to a rual area

[Reagan]

It takes two for a marriage to succeed or fail. We have had our ups and downs but we are in a pretty good place after 15 years. Once we had kids, failure was no longer an option.

Before kids my wife worked full time. After kids her focus is being a Mom and a full time JOB is not in the cards. Before I was married, I thought I would never support a non working wife. As far as I was concerned she had to work too. I'm now older and smarter and I know that my wife works harder than anyone I know but she is not drawing a paycheck. She is the COO of our house and spends more time working at the school, our house, our church, girls scouts , sports, volunteering etc. If she was working a full time job, many other areas in our life would suffer. We have become more traditional and old school and it works well us.

I would prefer to live in the country but we live in the burbs and own land in the country. It is the best compromise for our marriage and for our kids. If moving to the country is going to start with a battle, you need to rethink your approach and goals. My kids will be out of the house in about 10 years. By then I plan to still work and live where I do but also get away to the property and future cabin. Then I can have the best of both. I hope to someday have it as good a Mobuck oh I mean MoLand.

 

[buckvelvet]

Yeah I'm pretty stupid and uneducated I get it.

 

[McLovin]

Yeah I'm pretty stupid and uneducated I get it.

that was humor, lighten up. I have no rage anymore. For me, the pros outweigh the cons, for some of you the cons haven't materialized yet.

 

[buckvelvet]

that was humor, lighten up. I have no rage anymore. For me, the pros outweigh the cons, for some of you the cons haven't materialized yet.

Just because I didn't put a face on my comment doesn't mean i wasn't being sarcastic. :)

I am 31, I have been married for 10 years to my highschool sweet heart who I started dating just after I turned 17. I live in the woods though and have lots of habitat projects/outlets in my free time so maybe thats why I don't have the problems. I have 3 daughters, I am out numbered 4 to 1. I get the woman overload thing, believe me. :)

 

[Jordan Selsor]

It takes two for a marriage to succeed or fail. We have had our ups and downs but we are in a pretty good place after 15 years. Once we had kids, failure was no longer an option.

Before kids my wife worked full time. After kids her focus is being a Mom and a full time JOB is not in the cards. Before I was married, I thought I would never support a non working wife. As far as I was concerned she had to work too. I'm now older and smarter and I know that my wife works harder than anyone I know but she is not drawing a paycheck. She is the COO of our house and spends more time working at the school, our house, our church, girls scouts , sports, volunteering etc. If she was working a full time job, many other areas in our life would suffer. We have become more traditional and old school and it works well us.

I would prefer to live in the country but we live in the burbs and own land in the country. It is the best compromise for our marriage and for our kids. If moving to the country is going to start with a battle, you need to rethink your approach and goals. My kids will be out of the house in about 10 years. By then I plan to still work and live where I do but also get away to the property and future cabin. Then I can have the best of both. I hope to someday have it as good a Mobuck oh I mean MoLand.

How many kids you have Reagan? Just curious. We have 3 now an their are days I would def support my wife being a stay at home mom. We talk about her stepping down to part time often.

 

[PackerBacker]

Guess it depends on your definition of rural. I don't consider Shawano to be rural by my standards but my wife was born and raised in Chicago. It was a huge change for her to move up here. 10 years and four kids later, she is happy that she moved to "Canada" as my father-in-law refers to it. Much better place to raise kids, very little crime, better community support and kids can still be kids. Plus she figured it out it is only 30 minutes to the mall in Green Bay when it took her about 45 to travel the 15 miles to the mall in Chicago traffic.

Being 32 and with the oldest kid being 7, its a long way off but only trouble I can see possible coming is when kids are gone. The wife isn't much of the outdoors type and there isn't a whole lot else to do around here. Never know what could change in the next 20 plus years though.

 

[wiscwhip]

My battle in this arena isn't "where" to live, it is "what" we will be living in. My wife has had her heart set for many years on "retiring" into an RV and traveling, with the possibility of owning a few small pieces of property in different areas to set up a more semi-permanent "home base" during times when we don't want to travel. I keep telling her that it is not the type of lifestyle for folks looking to slow down and enjoy retirement, but she hasn't seen the light yet. Grandbabies are starting to get her into a more "grounded" state of mind though, so who knows in 15 to 20 years?

 

[wiscwhip]

That's what I keep saying!!!

 

[MoLandOwner]

That sounds nightmarish to me :eek:
I've always been a "homebase" kinda guy. I enjoy traveling, but I'm always looking forward to getting back "home". It doesn't matter where home is....but I need one. Plus, driving one of those monstrosities through the mountains, traffic, wind, etc. doesn't sound too enjoyable to me.

What is nightmarish is it takes one spouses pension to just fuel those things at 5 mpg. :eek:

 

[Reagan]

How many kids you have Reagan? Just curious. We have 3 now an their are days I would def support my wife being a stay at home mom. We talk about her stepping down to part time often.

We have two girls. 11 and soon to be 9. We hadn't really planned on having more than that and when the time was right (our age) for number three our relationship and my carreer was not right. The Great Recession cut my income in half and our marriage barely survived the money problems, work stress and our (mostly mine) selfishness. Once we got through that, our youngest was 5 or 6 and more diapers just didn't seem like a good idea. I'm very happy with where we ended up.

Plus the voice in my head, which was actually my older sister, reminded me that the third kid increases your workload exponentially. The idea of trying for a boy was in my mind but I would look at my neighbor with four girls and realize that was crazy talk. One man can only handle so much estrogen in the house. Look at my avatar and you can see my youngest has filled my needs for hunting buddy.

 

[MoLandOwner]

My buddy tried for that boy after the first 2 girls. Now has 5 girls. And no hunting shack to head to for the 10 days a month when they are synchronized!:eek:

 

[Jim Timber]

What is nightmarish is it takes one spouses pension to just fuel those things at 5 mpg. :eek:

My dad (71) thinks he wants one of those things too. I don't really care if they burn up my inheritance (it's their money), but you can buy a lot of hotel rooms for $60K (used price of what he's looking at).

 

[wiscwhip]

What is nightmarish is it takes one spouses pension to just fuel those things at 5 mpg. :eek:

I keep pointing that out as well!!!

 

[Jordan Selsor]

 

[SD51555]

 

[bowhunternw]

Personally I would never even consider moving to the country again. I live in an agricultural area and there is a lot of aerial spraying and apparently they have a lot of issues with wind drift because I see soo many trees get scorched every year. I think I would flip out if that happened to my woods. I actually had a country place and with in two years of living there a farmer wanted to put a cattle feedlot not far from our place. Not close to his place. In the end it never panned out and we sold that place as fast as we could. I rented a house near a hog confinement in southern MN, the smell was terrible especially in the evenings, no way am I living anywhere close to a confinement ever again. You just have no protection to what happens around you in the country. It would be different if you had a 1/4 of land but a little couple acre piece no flippin way.