Live in the woods they said...

[Derek Reese 29]

So about 4:00 this morning I was awakened to a noise that sounded like something trying to claw it's way into my house through the siding and back door...
Upon armed inspection of the noise, I discovered that a raccoon had climbed up my backdoor to the porch light where there had previously been a robin's nest.
The light was/is now tilted at about a 45 degree angle.
Once my eyes adjusted, I could see the raccoon was sitting there devouring the nest's former inhabitants and would not move even with a swift kick to the door that was ~2" from his head.
I eventually scared him off and returned to bed....
Cue more crazy scratchy noises at 6:00, and I came to find the masked intruder both sitting on and hanging from the back door knob. He was gone when I returned from retrieving a suitable means of dispatching him.
I guess I can be grateful it wasn't a bear, as I don't know how my 9mm self defense rounds would do against thick hide and bone....
Any one else have any good "I live in the woods" stories?

 

[bigbendmarine]

Probably could share a dozen stories better than this one, but it's the freshest in my mind as the events both happened this month.

Wife is a wicked smart doctor and crazy good at a thousand things... but learning to ID snakes never has seemed to appeal to her.

So somewhat regularly I get calls like I did this past month from her sharing she's purposefully run over a "diamondback" in our driveway... that ended up being a badly maimed and understandably feisty rat snake I had to put out of its misery.

Then I get texts like this one while she's walking around our inner fenced yard (not outer fields) asking me to confirm she's standing close to a friendly (which she absolutely WAS NOT). Take no joy in killing any snakes, but my general rule with the local water mocasssins is that if they'll just honor their name and stay close to water several hundred yards from the house I'll grant them pardons. Get up on the high ground closer to my daughter, wife, dogs, and pool, the pardon deal is off.

Challenge with this fellow (or fellowetta as the case may be) was that it was just feet from an 80' stretch of boxwood shrubs that line a vineyard I maintain... and sure enough it sought cover in them before I could dispatch it... and it was close to dark. Spent at least an hour in 90+ degree temps holding a flashlight in one hand while uber-cautiously opening boxwood branches with the other to see if I could spot it. Talked about calling it quits twice before I finally saw it inch out of the other end of the boxwoods -- it managed to travel the full 80' distance during the time I looked for it. Told my wife while still looking for it that the main concern I had in not finding it was I knew the dogs (inside at the time) would make a bee-line to the area the first second we let them out. Which sure enough they did, but thankfully only after No-Shoulders was no longer a threat.

 

[SD51555]

The first year I had my cabin, I had bear paw prints about 7 feet up on the side of the wall. Count my blessings that he/she didn't punch through a window and chow down on 300 lbs of food plot seed.

I'm currently in a drawn out mission to kill a wood chuck that likes to run under the cabin when it rains. Haven't gotten lucky enough to have grouse dinner fly into my window yet.

 

[Troubles Trees]

You should try raising chickens or Guinea Hens in the sticks where we live lol It will be fun they said!

 

[SD51555]

You should try raising chickens or Guinea Hens in the sticks where we live lol It will be fun they said!

Last summer, I watched the neighborhood fox run right down the paved road with a chicken in his mouth, twice. I was impressed, cause I saw him go down there, and come right back, limited out.

 

[Bszweda]

My sister lives in suburbia and a few days ago she had a similar incident with a raccoon attempting to go through her roof. (Don’t ask me how this raccoon got stuck. My wife growing up as a kid would stay at her dads farm house, which weren’t well maintained and had a raccoon fall through the ceiling on her while she was sleeping.

 

[Derek Reese 29]

My sister lives in suburbia and a few days ago she had a similar incident with a raccoon attempting to go through her roof. (Don’t ask me how this raccoon got stuck. My wife growing up as a kid would stay at her dads farm house, which weren’t well maintained and had a raccoon fall through the ceiling on her while she was sleeping.

after seeing that picture that critter is getting a .22 caliber pill ASAP

 

[omicron1792]

I live In the suburbs of a major city. I can be downtown from my house in 6 minutes.

I have killed multiple snakes at my house including copperheads. I have a running battle with raccoons, they come in packs and we have war. One time I was sneaking around to shoot a raccoon with a pellet gun when I walked up on a 8 point buck In my driveway. Was literally 5 yards away. We looked at each other for about a minute, then he walked off. I have pictures of coyotes In my backyard.

Makes me wonder why I drive an hour to my farm and spend time and effort on “wildlife management” there!

Buck I took a pic of outside my window at my house in city.

 

[omicron1792]

My sister lives in suburbia and a few days ago she had a similar incident with a raccoon attempting to go through her roof. (Don’t ask me how this raccoon got stuck. My wife growing up as a kid would stay at her dads farm house, which weren’t well maintained and had a raccoon fall through the ceiling on her while she was sleeping.

That pic is hilarious!!!

 

[PatinPA]

My daughter when she was younger ran outside because a "cute orange cat" ran by the window. She came running back in 30 seconds later yelling it wasn't a cat it was a fox. Turns out a mama and a couple of kits moved into the drainage ditch next door and they explored the neighborhood for about a month before moving on.

 

[SWIFFY]

I love living in the country! Lots of stories with animals, wild and domestic. The worse thing I've had lately is I have neighbors a 1/2 mile away on each side of me with peacocks. During the breeding season they meet in the middle and sit on my boulder retaining wall outside the bedroom and call at each other every day at 5 in the morning! Loud and annoying!

Ive had plenty of run-ins with skunks and coons and possums and coyotes, etc.... but when I hear about your southerners who deal with POISONOUS SNAKES... I know I've got nothing to complain about! You can have them!

 

[fishin coyote]

I live in the woods raise bees, have chickens and domestic turkeys so the local critters and I are always at odds. If it isn’t the damn trash pandas it’s the occasional bear or the pesky possums creating stress.
One hot summer night the dogs start growling and I can hear this commotion over the ac unit. I jump out of bed with nothing on, run down and throw on the backyard lights and lo be hold there’s 4 little raccoons acting like unruly teenagers fighting on the bird tray feeder. I’m reaching for the gun that stays by the windows when my wife yells don’t kill them they‘re babies. So in my half asleep rage I run out the door grabbing a broom on the way to chase them off the feeder. I start hitting and pushing them off the tray to chase them away when one hits the ground and instead of running away it humps up starts hissing then runs right at me. I throw the plastic broom down and run my naked ass back into the house where my wife is laughing her butt off. I stomped by her and said they’re your freaking problem and back to bed I went. She was still laughing the next morning and ask me why a 200lb man would run from a 3lb raccoon. My only reply was “I wasn’t dressed for battle“.
I took great joy in every smal raccoon I trapped that fall LoL

 

[SwampCat]

Mt Cur will take care of a lot of your problems - raccoons, possums, armadillos, snakes, cats, hogs - even an occasional UPS delivery person. My dog wears one of those wireless pet containment collars that lets him only get 30 yards from the house. Pretty amazing what all he catches that close to the house. Bayed a timber rattlesnake at front steps two weeks ago. Two possums and armadillo since then.

 

[The Fishman]

I don't even live in the woods and constantly deal with snakes, raccoons, armadillos, and opossums. We still were not back into the office full time in summer 2020. My boss and I were the only ones on the second floor when we hear a loud crashing sound. After a few seconds, he asks if I am okay. I reply that I didn't make that noise. As I am leaving my office to investigate the noise, I notice movement across the hall in a dark office. I turn on a light and see a raccoon climbing up my coworker's desk into the window sill. A raccoon had climbed up a downspout, walked to the front of the building, burrowed under an awning, and came in the attic. It was 90 degrees outside, so I am not sure why it would want to get into an attic. The coon then proceeded to explore the attic until one of the ceiling tiles collapsed. We were able to open the window, knock out the window screen, and then push the raccoon out the second floor window. Luckily no one was in the office when the raccoon fell or we would have been dealing with a heart attack and a raccoon.

 

[buckdeer1]

Had a friend that wanted some help with 2 skunks in piece of flex duct in his basement.My SIL grandfather has a skunk under his couch in the living room.He learned a 38 might not be the best weapon for dispatching them.I had a baby robin jump down on my back without me seeing what it was.When it was digging it's claws into me I would have swore it was a wildcat

 

[b116757]

I kill about one copperhead a year at the house, wage war on woodchucks and armadillos digging in and under the barns. Raccoons take up residence in some of the barns on occasion and I have turkey buzzard that I think nests in one of the old chicken coops attics that is left open. The buzzards have been nesting in that building for at least the last two years almost without exception if I drive over there one of them pop’s out of the attic and fly’s over to a fence post and opens their wings idk if they are trying to scare me away or what that’s all about. Next time I get over to that old building I snap a photo of their antics on the fence post. I don’t care that they live in the old building and they don’t seem to mind me driving by once in while so we have a truce.

 

[MRBB]

well 3 days ago, I was carrying some things into my back porch, and had the screen door held open with the little lever on the pump
well guess I didn't get it back all the way, so screen door never closed all the way
about 6 pm, daylight yet,
I heard something at the closed main door
been waiting for a package to be delivered so, thought OK< delivery guy was putting it at back door(they do that here top keep things out of easy view at the front door)
any how, I opened the door(never looked at camera monitor) and there was a small bear there sniffing me?
a tiny female with two cubs too boot
I grabbed a yard stick I have at the door, and gave her a smack on the nose, , she shook her head as if not believing what I just did, and then, hauled ass away with cubs in tow!
not the first time I hit bear over the head, or had one at my door
they know I have bird seeds on that porch,, but in 40+ yrs no damage from them, so all is well
and I think she learned a lesson, as did I to make sure the screen door gets closed and latched ALL the time(normally I do this, was being lazy I guess)
NO pictures of this time
but as you can see I get them at my door often
and also why I normally LOOK before opening the door, HAHA!
I'm fine with them too, we co exist well, they look sand smell things, but that's as far as they go!
and I do enjoy watching them I will admit, bears can be rather fun critters to watch, they do silly things all the time!

 

[4wanderingeyes]

I have all the wildlife, coon, bear, deer, snakes, my worst are spiders. I freakin hate spiders. He have some huge ass fishing spiders, that are about the size of your hand. They say they are harmless to humans, but if they can catch birds, mice, and fish, they sure in the hell would put a hurten on a hand, or foot. I don’t have any pictures, mostly because when I see one, I turn and run away like a little girl screaming the entire way. I have found a couple in my house. Those won’t leave my site until they die, or I would move out until it was found, and killed.
I know there are spiders in the woods, and I respect them in the woods. But not in or around my house.

 

[b116757]

I don’t like spiders much either. My wife however has a great dislike of snakes I’m pretty sure if we ever found a snake in the house she would burn it to the ground before setting foot back in it.

 

[4wanderingeyes]

I don’t like spiders much either. My wife however has a great dislike of snakes I’m pretty sure if we ever found a snake in the house she would burn it to the ground before setting foot back in it.

Mine as well. She really hates snakes, but the ones around me aren’t bad ones, and I don’t mind them at all. I just shoosh them away, and tell her they eat the mice.